I am not the same person I was yesterday. I am better than before. As I embark on a big change in my life, changing jobs, I have to keep reminding myself of this. I believe, but I have to practice it. Thankfully, I have found a symbol that represents and reminds me of this, the BUTTERFLY. About 6 years ago, when I was working for Merit, my team was having a hard time adapting to change, so I wrote this quote on the white board in my office, "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies". What's interesting is that, at the time, I was searching for a quote that other people could relate to, but really what I got was the acknowledgement from the universe that it was OK for me to change. It appeared to me as subtle reminders. I wasn't purposefully seeking out butterflies and I surely wasn't collecting them, but what did start happening is that I spoke the quote and they started to appear. After I gave notice at WLB I was freaking out, what did I just do? Wrapping my head around this change has been a constant battle in my brain. I know that what I am moving to is the next step in creating a better version of myself, but leaving WLB makes me very sad, I am leaving special friends behind. A good friend of mine told me that it is only natural for me to feel this way and tried to give me some perspective, he said, "you jumped and now you are just waiting to land". I understood what he meant, it made sense, of course, I am just waiting to see how this all plays out. It does make me wonder though, if we truly are changing from one moment to the next, then maybe we aren't waiting to land at all. Maybe we are meant to be more like the butterfly and flutter about, creating moments, rather than days, weeks, years, after all - it is the moments we remember.
Here are some ways the butterfly has appeared to me (none intentional, but all purposeful):
These were gifts from my friends at WLB.
I photographed this butterfly being released from a neighbors yard. I thought it was so pretty, I used it on the cover of my 365 days on Instagram book.
After I left WLB, I was sitting in my room trying to make sense of the emotions I was feeling, and as I often do, I looked to my "happy place" photo on the wall and wouldn't you know it... there was a butterfly waiting for me.
I will leave you with a quote given to me by Zack, written by Winston Churchill.
To improve is to change,
to be perfect is to change often.
